Monday, April 29, 2013

A Collection of Thoughts

A few years ago I took a writing class just to do something for myself. A part of me was also hoping at the end of that class I'd magically have an editor, publisher and 3 book deals in my grasp. Alas. I learned one has to work for those things. Yet I still write, again because I can.

During this writing class I used to have to take my computer out of the apartment because I would find everything to do in the house but write. Oh hey, I haven't scrubbed the toilet in a long time. Or you know what, I should arrange my CD's according to genre. Or maybe I'll try and clean the outside of my windows on my second floor apartment. So I'd make myself leave the house with just my class materials, an inspirational book or two, my computer and I'd leave the charger at home. Not only would I have to write because there was nothing else to do, but I'd also have to beat the clock. Finish the assignment before my battery died. The tactic worked. I completed my assignment. I completed the course. And I still write.

Tonight, I'm on my deck. The same deck my grandpa and his friends built when I was 9 years old. That is so awesome. Every day Chuck and I talk about how grateful and lucky we are to be in this house. Mom, again and again, THANK YOU. I just went for a run, am feeling calm and refreshed at the moment and am waiting for my partner in crime to come home with wine and dinner. Lucky indeed.

That calm and refreshed feeling is so valued right now because I've been feeling very tightly wound lately. Work is stressful and I am counting down the days till my vacation. When I'm not at work, I'm trying hard to disengage from it. You know you work too much and need some time away when you dream about work. A few nights ago it was dream after dream of all the ways, ridiculous as they could get, that my milk order could get messed up. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to dream about ordering milk?! There is so much I'm trying to do, so many things to check off my list, so many people to be in continuous contact with, and I'm tired. I'm trying to be more organized to see if that cuts down on my stress and makes me prioritize. I think it's working, although I've only been doing it for a week.

You know what is wonderful right now? THE WEATHER! I tell you, last week when it snowed, I would've given a finger for some 80 degree weather. I saw something on line that said "The first person to complain about the heat this summer is getting punched." I concur. I painted my toes on Friday, put on some peep-toe shoes, a tank top with a loose sweater and I rocked out this warm weather! It was fantastic!

I'm really looking forward to my vacation in a month. We're going to Chicago for a friend's wedding and making a little trip out of it. It's a Sunday night wedding, we're going there on Friday, hopefully seeing a baseball game, going to that big metal bean thing in downtown, and my BFF Ryan will be with us too. And then Sunday rocking it out with the best of friends as another one gets hitched. I'm just so excited to be away from things for a while. I need to disengage. Mostly from work. Note to self, 9 months is too long to not have more than 2 days off a week.

It's getting dark and a tad chilly. And I want to go read my book. The Lost Van Gogh, a suspense, mystery thriller involving murder and a discovered Van Gogh art piece. Think Da Vinci Code sans religion. May this week be good to you and that you find time to be calm and refreshed as well.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

April 18th, 2013

This is what today has become. A f***ing blizzard. IN APRIL! That is some serious bullshit.

3 things that piss me off about this weather.
1. I am so damn tired of putting on a coat and having a hat and mittens readily available and my boots still sitting by the door.
2. I refuse to shovel which in turn means that Chuck has to. Well he doesn't have to but because he's a good person he does. And I feel bad that I'm not doing. (But not bad enough to actually do it. So maybe this isn't too bad.)
3. It's April. I want to garden. I want my windows open and my music being heard down the block. I want fresh air coming into my house. And I CAN'T BECAUSE IT'S FREAKING SNOWING!!! all caps means I'm yelling.

Moving on.

3 things that were good about today.
1. Work went well, I was able to work my way through last month's profit and loss statement myself. It felt good, I've never been good at breaking down my business numbers-wise, but today I did it and I mostly knew what I was talking about.
2. I came home to my whole family sitting on the couch. The girls are here for the night and it's a bit of a busier house when they are here. I like it.
3. I'm still reading a really good book. I want an afternoon to just finish it but I don't want it to end. I love that.

And this is just a bit of good nerdy book humor. This happened to me yesterday during lunch. Middle of my book, an oh shit moment, and everyone in the restaurant is going on like nothing happened!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Same Love

This song.

Gets me every time. Listen to the words. Then go back and listen again.

Love is patient. Love is kind.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

3 Good Things

I've been having an internal tug-of-war for a while now. One side, I love my life. On the other, people are getting pregnant, engaged, married and I'm doing none with no plans for any of that.

I know, I know. Waaaahhhhhmmmbulance. Cry me a river, grass is always greener, these are first world problems, bla bla bla. But doesn't a girl get a little "when is it my turn?" whining once in a while?

No? Not at all? Well apparently not. Because a few nights ago when I was silently crying in bed and Chuck noticed, he hugged me and said "Babe, we have it good. We don't need to be married to have a healthy relationship. We have a good house filled with love and 2 children that need us. Now go to sleep, it will all seem small in the morning."

And he was right. Damnit. I'm lucky in love in so many ways. Now quit yer bithcin', Riley. (I even wrote a whole post all woe-is-me that night. Have since deleted it. Turns out all that was a moo point. A cow's opinion. Just didn't matter after a bit.)

So in the spirit of years past, when I was down and out and needed self-help cheering-up, here are my 3 good things from today.
1. I wore bright blue tights and dress to work today. With the snow in April, I woke up and looked out the window and thought "Screw you Mother Nature. I'm looking cute today."
2. I got in some solid reading time today. I'm reading the newest Jodi Picoult book. I love her writing. And after this, I'll probably get in some solid reading time in bed. With wine.
3. I talked on the phone with my best friend tonight. It was only 13 minutes and it was mostly about a trip we're all going on next month, but God, I love talking to him. It's like we saw each other yesterday, we laugh and make fun of each other in an adoration sort of way.

Life is good. Life keeps moving. I just need to stay in it and focused on the awesome.