Thursday, January 28, 2010

Stupid fariytales

I need to find me an Aidan. From Sex and the City, Carrie's boyfriend who was way too good for her. I'm watching the episode where he won't sleep with her and she wonders why. He says he's trying to romance her, "Remember romance?" he asks. He draws her a lovely bubble bath with candles and everything. And doesn't even expect to sleep with her that night.

I don't think men like that exist. This is why it's so easy to fall in love with the Aidan's and the Colin Firth's from Pride and Prejudice and the Jake Ryan's from 16 Candles and all those other men from Hollywood, they're FICTIONAL! They aren't real and the real men in today's world don't play like that.

Robin Williams said once "God gave men two brains, but only enough blood to power one brain at a time."

I've said for over the last year that I'm going to write a book. You know, those books Something For Dummies; Facebook for Dummies, Knitting for Dummies, Cooking for Dummies. My book is going to be Women for Dummies. I'm going to write a book for men, to break us down for them. When we say we're fine, we're not fine, but we're not ready to discuss it yet. When we tell you our problems, it's not so you will fix it, 90% of the time we just want you to listen. When we say those earrings are pretty, pay attention and perhaps purchase them or something like them for the next gift giving occasion. I can keep going...

I don't want to say I'm waiting for my Prince Charming. Because my life is wonderful with me being single and fabulous. But part of me is waiting, hoping for someone to come into my life and share it with me.

Damn you Hollywood, for creating perfect men that we amazing women will never have because they aren't real. Curses! I shake my fist at you!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Our Leader

I am so glad that Barack Obama is OUR president. I just watched the State of the Union address and I got teary eyed. He is the first political leader that I really feel is speaking to me, in words and terms I can understand, about issues that matter in my life, and I feel like he really cares. This time last year I didn't expect all the stuff he promised during the campaign to be solved right away. Decisions like that take time and effort and surly lots of patience. I'm just pleased he is doing it. Something. Anything. He is making moves to better our country. I really feel like he is working for the American people, he wants us to be a community despite our differences. One of my favorite things he said tonight was "We were sent here to serve our citizens not our ambitions." I don't think any other politician has spoken for the general public as well as he does. I commend him, his words, his beliefs, his work. I still have the red "I Voted" sticker in my wallet. I intend on saving it to remind myself that I helped put a man in office who gave me hope, hope in our nation and hope in people.

Is there a phoiba word for this?

I'm not afraid of much. My biggest fear is fear of the unknown. I guess I'm what Kennedy was talking about "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." I'm not afraid of spiders - but I'm not a fan of them either. Small spaces don't frighten me, but it's also not like I'd choose to go in one. I don't like the dark and tend to turn on a light before I enter a room. But I don't need a night-light to sleep.

But I have a very substantial fear that I'm going to turn into the Crazy Cat Lady. You know, the one who has multiple cats, framed pictures of them, carries pictures with and shows them at parties, she continuously smells of cats.

And I just became a cat owner. I am currently sitting at the Crazy Cat Lady crossroads and do not want to go down it. I don't want to be given post-it notes with cats on it as gifts, and I am way to cute and way to funny to be the Crazy Cat Lady.

I think I'm blogging about this so that someone else knows about it, even though nearly everyone in my life has heard me talk about it. It's like I'm counting on someone to hold me responsible to NOT become that lady. A friend of mine says I can easily avoid this in two steps. One, never have more than one cat. And two, (this is for all facebook users) never have a facebook photo album dedicated just to my cat. She says pictures of pets are like pictures of your lover, naked. They're nice for you, but no one else cares. I think she has a very valid point.

I've read that every writer needs a cat. Well here I am. And here is my cat, on my lap watching the cursor crawl across the screen.

This here is my self-pledge to love my cat whole-heartedly (and so far, he rocks) but to love the fact that I am NOT the Crazy Cat Lady now and intend to stay that way.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

My 15 minutes

I'm famous! But only in Minneapolis. And only for about 6 seconds. And only if my name is Stacy Rowly. But hey, it's me!!

Click here, I think I'm around the 1 minute mark.
And if that doesn't work here's the link to copy/paste

They came into my store today, asking to interview people for the game this coming Sunday against the New Orleans Saints. Who knew I'd be one of them!?

And it's official, I really said "Dude" on television. Or actually Stacy Rowly said "Dude" on television.

Have a good giggle at me. I did!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I don't wanna!

I have an assignment, my last one, due in 2 days and I've got very little written down. I've been much more a fan of reading rather than writing lately. Thanks to my mom and me finally listening to her book advice and picking up a book called Outlander. It was so excellent that I bought the sequel and started reading it right away.

My last piece for the class is just sort of all over the place. I haven't got a focus, I haven't got a structure, I'm just sort of writing what comes to my mind and then trying to organize it. But from what I hear, that is normal.

As I write this, my cat's head is sitting on my computer, watching the cursor crawl across the page as I type. I've read that every writer needs a cat. Well I guess I'm set. Now I just need to get some inspiration.

I think my muse is on vacation. In some tropical paradise, I'm sure. Drinking something fruity with alcohol you can't taste. And getting tan. And getting hit on. Bitch.

She needs to come back. I'm getting nowhere without her. And it's starting to piss me off.

See? Even this post has no focus. Not wanting to do something, reading, cats, muse. I'm all over the place.

A good note from today, I found an Indian Head Penny dated 1902. It's over 100 years old. I kept it. It's cool.

OK. Yoga tonight. Perhaps that will help me focus. Perhaps.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

My new addition

Ever since I moved into my own place I've been going back and forth back and forth on the topic of getting a cat. I was on board for a while and then off and then on. It's been a little annoying. And my mom has been fully on board with the whole idea for quite some time.

Well, last night I got me a little furry, four-legged friend and brought him home.

Ladies and Gents, meet Deets Augustus. Named for two of my favorite characters from Lonesome Dove.

I got him at the Humane Society, he's 7 months old, and he just sat right down in my arms in the visitation room. Seemed like a match made in heaven.

A little over an hour after being home, he was all tuckered out.

Can I get a collective "Awwwwww"?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Caution: I'm mad and men suck

The Bitter Bus tends to follow me everywhere I go. But it only honks it's horn and flashes it's brights when it comes to men. Or I should say boys, because the males that I tend to go out with or have an interest in sooner rather than later will revert back to junior high levels of interaction. They don't call when they say they will, they tell you nice things and then they're actions don't go along with the words. Or you call, text, email, whatever, and nothing.

Seriously, the other half of our species... well I can't really put into words how irritating I think they are.

I dated one guy last year for 3 weeks, and for 2 of those weeks he was seeing someone else. I had 4 dates in one week with another guy last spring and we were like peanut butter and jelly. We just fit. And then nothing. He stopped calling, would return my calls, just fell off the face of the planet. I went on one date this fall with what appeared to be a great guy, we hit it off. And a few days later we're on the phone, he's saying things like "Lets try this dating thing. You call me, I'll call you, lets see where this can go." And I haven't heard from him since.

And I'm not even going to bring up the reason I moved to NM and the reason I moved back home.

And you know whats worse than all of this?! I am still attracted to them! And that bugs me even more!

I met a boy last week at a bar, he drove me home and was a gentleman and dropped me at my door. Saying that he'd like to see me again. Last Friday I get a text (and don't get me started on the texting. Be a man and pick up the phone!) saying this weekend he'd like us to get together. And nothing. It's been 6 days, I've lost hope that he'll call. I'd call him but everyone I talk too, everything I read says that if the boy wants to see you again, he'll find a way to do so. Not that I should sit on my ass and wait like a lame-o. But from my past experiences, when I call and they don't return it, they are not interested.

Why do they say the things they do and act all sweet and interested just to lift us up and watch us come crashing back down? I don't get it. When I'm not interested, I say so. One because it's the right thing to do, and two because when it's not said to me I'm left with all these questions and anger.

I'm nearly convinced that all the good ones are gay, taken, or boring.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Not much but something

My last post was a week ago. And I have nothing exciting to report. I hate that. It is January, it is cold out, and everyones lives seem to come to a near stand-still when it is winter. I do feel like I have done nothing but work and see friends since Christmas. I guess that isn't so bad.

There have been a lot of happy hours with friends. Christmas was very quiet with my mom on pain killers for her knee surgery and me on a big bottle of white wine. New years was filled with laughter with girlfriends and a few drinks. Last Monday I met some girlfriends from high school for our monthly happy hour. Then on Tuesday I went out to meet some old friends from my camp counseling days. Then on Friday I went to dinner with my mom to a family friend's house. Then on Sunday night I went to an inpromptu dinner with some girlfriends from college. And I'm hopefully doing something fun and new this weekend.

I guess I have had some things to write about. Just been to busy doing said things to sit down and write about it.

Speaking of writing... I'm on my last assignment for my class. A-woo-hoo!! I'm so very excited. This last piece is on accomplishing your goals, what stands in your way, and keeping a positive outlook on your dreams. Seems a fitting end to something I set out to do all on my own.

I have a framed postcard next to my desk that simply says "WRITE READ" which is a daily reminder to do so. It came in the mail from a place in town called The Loft, which helps writers do what they do. Write.

And on that note, I think I'll go do just that. Write. You, you should go do something you love too!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


I just found this little photographic gem while clicking through blogs. Hilariously awesome!
Click here, trust me. You won't be disappointed!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Don't they usually charge you for stuff like this?

So the neighbor hating has come to a whole new level.

Nutty the Neighbor across the way I think has been building a fort in the last week or so. For several days I heard her banging away in her place. Like the sounds one hears when someone is hammering in a nail - "bangbangbangbang" silence for a moment or few, then "bangbangbangbang" again. For an unaccounted amount of time. But surely enough for me to think "What's she doing?" And there has been an armoire in the hallway, along with a chair, and now that chair has another chair keeping it company. Taking what I know of her and her thinking that the bad thoughts are coming into her apartment and also hearing her stand in the hallway and say the Miranda Rights to everyone in the building, I think she's building a fort. Would make sense, in her nonsense world.

But lately I'll take 5 Nuttys in comparison to the Stipper above me. I hate her. Her, the New York Yankees and Sarah Palin. And that's it. And you have to be pretty bad to get in the same category as Sarah Palin. That is some serious hate.

I was woken up by her, yes AGAIN, on New Years morning. She was having sex. And I didn't hear bed springs or furniture moving or some Marvin Gaye playing. I heard her. Think Sally from When Harry Met Sally, that scene where she fakes an orgasm in the restaurant. Seriously, if you haven't seen it do so, it's classic. And the Stripper goes on and on for 15 to 20 minutes. Constant screaming.

And (sorry Family, but) I've had good sex and nothing is that good. When things are that good, there are no words. Silence is golden. I understand that you may want to moan to the world about how great it is, but a moan or three. Not 15 minutes, like I got to listen to. I've also wanted to scream but tend to have lived where others are around and know to keep my mouth shut. Or who knows what others would be blogging about me!

At least she could jazz it up for me. Throw in some dirty words, some action phrases, some nick names, give me something worth listening to. Instead I just get the standard "Oh yes, oh god yes yes yes." Bla bla bla. I think she has taken too many cues from bad porn videos. And I think she's faking it.

So as a reaction to Sreamy Von SexStar above me, I decided to tell her. Thanks to some advice from my mom and a friend from my building. I thought her note over so much that I remember exactly what I wrote.

"So, not only can I hear your music and your continuous pacing in heels. But now I can hear you having sex. Not the action, you. Every single word. (those 3 were underlined) Once again, can you please keep it down? Thank you, Your Downstairs Neighbor"

And I slid the note under her door. The next day she was silent. I have heard her since, but not nearly at any volume she was at before. I'm hoping that the embarrassing fact I heard her is enough to make her think twice about screaming during sex. Knowing what I know of her, she will never look me in the face again.

And believe me, if I am woken up by her nasty porn fake screams again, I will go up and bang on her door, mid-coitus, and bust up that heart-break hotel she is living in.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Not resolutions, ways to better myself

So last post was closing 2009. Then rightfully so this one should be opening 2010. Wow. 2010. That is weird.

I don't make resolutions like "I'm going to eat healthy" or "I'm going to loose 20 pounds" Or "I'm going to start running" One, I like to eat so I don't diet. I eat what I want and when I want, I'm just lucky that much of what I want is relatively good for me. And two, I don't think anyone should run unless being chased with a knife. I hate running. I'll walk till the day is done, but you want me to run? No thanks, I'll catch up with you later.

But I do have some new goals for the start of the year. And they are as follows...

I am going to volunteer. I'd like to volunteer at the Animal Humane Society but the bus doesn't conveniently get out there. And I have a hunch that I would come home with more animals than my little studio or my building's management would approve of. So I've been looking on line at hospitals and I'm going to try volunteering at Children's Hospital. I think it's good to donate ones time to help others, and I've been meaning to volunteer for years. This is the year that I make it happen.

I tend not to cook all that often. I also don't go out to eat too often either. If I don't have money to go out to eat, I generally don't have money to buy food for home either. I make do with what I have. But I've never been a big cook. That is going to change this year. I have all these pots/pans/dishes and I got a crockpot for Christmas this year. So I am making myself learn to enjoy cooking. That has been my issue the last year, it's no fun to cook for myself. I think I just need to change my attitude about it. Me and cooking in my teeny kitchen are going to become BFFs.

I'm going to budget my money even more than I did so last year. In years past I have gotten into a few financial woes and have learned some hard lessons. But I want to get a savings going outside of my 401 from work. So perhaps some time down the road, I don't have to literally live paycheck to paycheck.

And that is it. For now. Nothing about changing my body image, just about growing and becoming better than I am today.