Friday, February 27, 2009

This is a family place.

At work today...whoooo boy!

First off, a woman came in who I was told by my fellow co-worker, is nuts. But that is usually a 7 in 10 chance where I work. All the crazies seem to come downtown. This woman came up and ordered a small coffee and then spouted sing-song words like "I'm in no hurry like the snow flurries." and "I'll hibernate like a grizzly bear in the wilderness." She was waving her arms around a-la Jodie Foster in Nell "Te in na win". We gave her the small coffee and then all 3 of us dove into the back to let out the laughter we had been holding in.

She then sat down and was undisruptive for about 20 minutes.

Never underestimate the power of the crazies.

A man came over and started to talk to her. Fine. She seemed to enjoy his company. Fine. He went in for a kiss, and she let him. A little odd, I didn't think they knew each other. (My only conclusion for that is that if they did knew each other I think the greeting would have been a bit more friendly. A "Oh my gosh! It's been ages! How are you?!" kind of thing.) He got a little closer, so close he seemed to be in her personal bubble. Still odd. He went in for another kiss, and she let him. By now I'm weirded out and can't help but watch.

What was going on? How did they know each other? How far would two crazies go?

In the next 30 seconds I got my answer.

I look over and she has her hand down his pants, his groin is thrust out to her, and they are just enjoying every aspect of each others company! I KNOW! And this was all in PUBLIC!! I lost it, went over to the phone and called the cop that we have patrolling our store during all business hours. (That is right. There are so many unconstitutional things going on at my store that we have a police officer all the time.)

Well this police officer is bad ass. He's huge, I rarely see him smile even though I've had a few laughs with him. He has also thrown a kid through a window for spitting on him. Or so I'm told. Well this officer wasted no time busting that heart-break hotel down! He took their pictures and kicked them out and they are not allowed back in our store.

I didn't know what to do with myself during all of this. I've never seen anyone be that open and disgusting in public before! It was no holds barred, and I bet if no one had come over they would have done more. I went in the back and did dishes just for a distraction.

I mean, come on, WHO DOES THAT?! Seriously!

Ugh, welcome to a glimpse of my work place.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

It's about time

I didn't get a chance to see the President's speech tonight. I was having drinks and a scrumptious slice of cheesecake with a friend. But when I got home I caught the last 10 minutes or so. As I was hanging up my coat and took a look at the TV I was pleased with what I saw. A black man in charge of the country that I am living in, a white man second in command and to top it off, a white woman sitting with them, proud and strong.

My, how far we have come. And I'm not even one to talk. I wasn't around for the Civil Rights Movement, or when women first got the right to vote. I have not lived in much struggle and turmoil in comparison to what others in this country have gone through. However, knowing where we were and how far we have come, and understanding how far we have left to go, I was quite overcome with a sense of pride when I looked at our President, VP and Speaker of the House tonight.

I'm so glad I voted the way I did. I know it's a slow process; recovering from the deficit, getting this country back on it's feet, having a sense of pride about the country we live in. But I, in no way doubt, that we can get there.

I have said this a few times before, heres to you Mr. President! I'm so proud to say those words!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Top 10 thoughts of today, in no particular order.

1. The Oscar's are on and I have finally admitted that I truly watch it for the fashion first and the awards second.
2. I just saw an add for the next season of Dancing with the Stars and like the last 2 or 3 seasons it should be called Dancing with the D List because I only know one or two people competing on it. This season it's Denise Richards and she is a big ball of annoying.
3. Today was my second day off in a row for the first time since before Thanksgiving and I'm not sure if I like it. Yesterday was great, I did some fun things with my mom. But today by 3 in the afternoon I was stir crazy bored. There is only so much time I can spend on facebook, or hoping someone will call and save me from my boredom.
4. I went down to Caribou today to get coffee and read a bit but there wasn't a single chair open, so I went for a walk instead. And nearly froze my face off I might add.
5. I did spend a moment or two extra reading the front page of the Star Tribune at the doorway of Caribou hoping the cute boy near by might smile at me or something. No luck.
6. I think I'm going to get a cat. I've sat in the idea of it for a while, and I think I've come to the conclusion that a little furry friend would be nice. It'd give me something else to talk to. Besides myself, and my plants when I water them.
7. If I were to win an award, I'd love it to be an Oscar. That might be my one and only unachievable dream. And I only say unachievable because lets be serious here, I'm successful and happy but will never be Hollywood famous.
8. If I did though, I'd wear Valentino or Oscar de la Renta. So lovely!
9. I have my next writing assignment and it's an article of my choice. And as the past assignments I'm not sure what to write. I have all these ideas and really need to pick one. Its tough to focus sometimes.
10. My building has been pretty quiet all weekend. I think the stripper above me and Nutty must be out of town. It's been nice.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My writing and my reading

I got my instructor's response to my most recent assignment today and she said "overall, great job!" She had minimal corrections and suggestions for me and said with a few punctuation fixes that I should be able to submit it to magazines for publication. I was a big ball of smiles and pride as I read her letter in my apartment today. I really felt like I put my heart and soul on the table for all to read in this one, and to get such positive feed back shows I did the right thing by writing it all down.

I now have two pieces ready to submit to magazines which makes me feel quite good. I'm very proud of myself for going on this writing journey all on my own. Its something that only I have decided to do. I had no outside opinions, or did it because I had to, or because someone said I didn't have a choice. It was all my decision. And so far I've been nothing but pleased. Granted like anything there are bad moments, and every book I've read on writing says writing isn't easy. And I'll be, they were right. But I enjoy the challenge. I've always enjoyed telling stories and creating a picture in someone's minds eye with words.

This next assignment is up in the air for me. I've had some ideas brewing and lots of things written down on numerous pieces of paper. My desk and purse runneth over with post-its and scrap paper. I love it.

I am reading Lonesome Dove right now. My mother's suggestion many times over. And it's very good. It's long. I think part of the reason I haven't tackled it before is because it is so big. It's intimidating. But I don't have anyone to beat, finishing it is not a race. But I do enjoy it. I really like the characters and and the connection they build with each other while driving cattle to "Montany". I've only ever seen bits and pieces of the movie so I don't know how it ends. And mom and I have a movie date to watch it together once I finish, which may be in June. It's a big book.

I went to Barnes and Noble tonight with a friend. I do still like to go there when I'm not working and look at books, I just don't go to my store. When I do that co-workers usually say "You're here and you're not working? Weird." But when you love books and reading as much as I do... And tonight I discovered all these new books out that I want to read and was reminded of many that I've said I wanted to pick up for a while now. Seriously, if I could read and then write about it for a living I would.


Monday, February 16, 2009

Cupid ain't got nothing on me!

Valentines day has come and gone, and I think this is the first year that I celebrated being single. I used to wallow in it, like many other people. Singles Awareness Day, it is so fondly called. But not this year. I went bar hopping with some girls, in a new cute little dress and my trusty knee-high boots. (Remember the blog about the shoes? Yep, that feeling totally came back again on this night.)

We went to some pretty swank places, and yes they were nice but I didn't feel like I fit in. I am way too loud and way too crass to be spending more than an hour or so in those places. I get bored and anxious. I feel much more at home in a bar with beer, not martinis with foliage floating in it. (Although the $14 martini that I bought at one of these places that had an actual flower in it was one of the most delicious drinks I have ever had.)

I got a shot bought for me, and got my grove on at the last place we went to. But most importantly I had a reassuring feeling that where I am at in my life, personal, professional, emotional, is exactly where I am supposed to be. It feels right. It felt good to be going out with other fabulous women and enjoying the evening.

The evening was by no means a bashing of men, or of couples. It was just a good reason to go out on the town and enjoy the moment. I had originally taken the night off because I thought I'd have a date. But since that fell through, I had a pity party for one for about a day, and then jumped over that hurdle. And said Valentines day is going to be my day, date or no date.

And it was. It was a fun-filled evening, but most importantly it reaffirmed all my choices in the past several months. I am right where I need to be.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Nutty the Neighbor

This was so good I have gotten up, turned my computer back on and sat down in my jammies to write about it.

Nutty across the hall is back in full force!

I guess someone else mentioned her foul yet vocal sing-song tirade and our building manager had a talk with her. Since then she has been fairly quiet.

But not tonight! I was in bed at 9 and had the light off by 10 (don't judge, I need my beauty sleep. Or I'm getting old. I haven't decided yet.) And fell into a good, light sleep. I say light because I can still recall hearing people in the hallway (possibly Nutty herself) and the buses going by outside. But I also say good sleep because I was having a fantastic dream! Those details I am keeping to myself...

Yet at 10:46-ish I am woken up by Nutty. And she is singing. First I think "Oh Christ, shut up." Then I actually listen, and it is awful. That girl has the voice of a tone-deaf cartoon cat. Picture a house cat, drawn out in a cartoon, but a bit sassy. Sassy like wears jeweled collars and bows, yet completely unknowing to the fact that she really has no sass at all. And still walks around like she is the cat's meow. (Pun intended) And to top it off this cat thinks she can sing. And it's bad. Like bad kareoke bad, like want to laugh out loud bad. Like Cameron Diaz in "My Best Friend's Wedding" bad or Miss Piggy, well, any time she tries to sing.

American Idol auditions would love her!

So after the "Oh Christ" thought my next was "I'm getting my camera, turning it to record and putting this shit in youtube!"

And that is exactly what I did. Only Nutty didn't pull through for me. She stopped sounding so bad and started to sound muffled. But not without getting in a "Fuck me. Shit fuck." in there.

So no youtube video tonight. Damn. That could have been fun. And yes I am aware that I am evil.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

My kind of Sunday

It's Sunday morning and it's the day of rest, or so they say. I love Sundays, I almost always have the day off and I truly enjoy it. It's my day. I do what I want on Sundays.

Today I woke up and went for a walk around my neighborhood. It's gotten warm here, down right balmy. It's above freezing and the sun is shinning, so today I dressed in layers but no coat, just my down vest. A hat, and some mittens.

My neighborhood is full of big, beautiful, Victorian style houses. I love walking and looking at the houses and imagining the lay out inside. I could never afford a house that big, plus I don't think I'd want to. Think of all the cleaning I'd have to do. But then again, if one can afford a house that big, one can probably afford to have someone come clean it. But I like to think of myself as self-sufficient and I don't think I'd like to have a cleaning service.

Anyway, so I walked and wandered. No specific destination in mind, no time frame in mind either. Walking is a great place to think. It's just me and my surroundings and my thoughts. And the ice. I love it when things start to melt and then freeze again and all the ice on the edge of things is white and crunchy. I love to crunch the ice as I walk, the quick break, the crisp sound. I will dawdle along crunching all the ice on the edge of the sidewalk, a smile on my face as the fragile ice gives way to my foot.

When I started to not be able to feel my cheeks, I headed for home. The sun still rising and not a cloud to be seen. This is why I love Sundays. I don't go to church, but that walk was one of the most peaceful things I could do for myself. Where else can you feel close with a higher power, then out in the world you hope It created? It's stunningly beautiful.

I am now making cookies. I make some of the best chocolate chip cookies ever. Ask anyone whos had them. I don't toot my horn about much, but my cookies are YUMMMY! And I'm listening to music. An amazing woman who is a local artist here, Erin Schwab, performs around town and she made one of her performances into a CD. She does musicals, Janis Joplin, Dolly Parton, and other fabulous songs. There is one that makes me cry every time. The chorus is "There is a fine fine line between love and a waste of time." I even had a few tears fall at the bar the last time I saw her perform and she did that song.

"Theres a fine fine line between a lover and a friend, between reality and pretend. You'll never know till you reach the top if it was worth the extra climb. Theres a fine fine line between you're wonderful and goodbye. If someone doesn't love you back, it isn't such a crime. Because there is a fine fine line between love and a waste of time. I don't have the time to waste on you anymore. I don't even think you know what you're looking for. For my own sanity I need to close the door and walk away. Theres a fine fine line between what you wanted and what you got. You've got to go after the things you want while you're still in your prime. Because theres a fine fine line between love and a waste of time."

I need to clarify here that I don't think any love I've ever had was a waste. I don't regret anything I've done. But I wish I could have accepted that moment when it's just not right anymore quicker than I did. That song is just so simply put, it either is or it isn't. Why is it when words are put to music it effects you more? The moment you are trying to understand becomes crystal clear, and you see things from then on in a whole new light. Or at least I do.

My cookies are almost done. And I have lunch plans with a friend. And the rest of my day is open for me. And it's not even noon yet! Love that! I have the whole day ahead of me. If I had all the money you could imagine, I might take my private jet to Italy. But instead I'll take my own feet that are free and go to a used book store. Or sit at my hand-made desk, look out my window and dream. Or get lost in a book. Or watch Friends. Cause I don't do that too often. HA! Or write, I've got a good idea for my next assignment. Or watch the movie Savages, I've had that from Netflix since before Christmas and have yet to watch it. Or go for another walk, it's just so darn lovely out!

Heres hoping your day delivers exactly what you want, so far mine has.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Just short of total zen

I went back to yoga last night and was a tad irritated until we actually started. For being a place where you should be calm, and positive, and all zen-like it was full of complaints. But funny enough, the complaints were all about other people. People driving and how we are never in the wrong, people pushing through life, literally, but you not standing up for yourself and saying "Excuse me, I am standing here." Complaints about the government, already, and yet none of us work in it and really have no idea what goes on or how complicated it is. I was just so frustrated because I go to yoga to free myself of the stress and daily annoyances that were being discussed. We even started late, and as I waited for class to start I went internal, tried to tune it out, and laid down and closed my eyes.

I do think that the people talking weren't complaining to be rude or annoying, but just to have a conversation. I just wish that people would talk about the sun shinning, or how much they like their job, or about a great evening they had friends a few nights ago. But alas, perhaps that is too much to ask.

I do realize that I am complaining about people complaining, which is also one of my pet peeves. But I have to get it out and like I've said many times before, its my blog.

Once class started it was great. I got sweaty and really felt myself sinking into the poses. It felt wonderful to be back doing that stuff with a class. I've been doing it at home, but it's just not the same, I work much better on stuff like yoga in a class. It helps push me. I did walk to yoga and walk back. All bundled up with an extra pair of pants and a big hat and scarf. I love walking, it's refreshing.

I will be going back next Wednesday but prepared to tune out the talking from the beginning. Me and zen are going to BFFs.