Sunday, November 30, 2008

My entertainment center

I just got back from a walk in the minimal winter wonderland we have, whilst eating an ice cream cone! Crazy Minnesotan!

On another note, I don't have cable yet. So when i turn on the TV it's just to watch DVDs. I've been having a Sex and the City marathon since I moved in, a few episodes ever few days. But mostly I've had the radio on. Which isn't that great either, seeing as how my radio is missing it's antennae. So I have very few stations that come in and sad to say none of them are my favorites. Oh well. But right now I'm watching TV, by using a huge second-hand rabbit ear antennae. Ridiculous and old school! Right now one of the metal ears is stretched out across the entry way to my kitchen. And the other is poking out in the middle of the room. I have to dodge these metal sticks every time I walk through my place! It's comical. At some point I'll either get cable or perhaps Netflix. Until then, I'm going to spend a good chunk of my TV watching time adjusting these goofy rabbit ears, in order to get my measly five channels to come in. Good grief.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thoughts on the day of turkey and giving thanks

I just went and saw the movie Milk with Sean Penn. It was really really good. It's about the first openly gay man elected to political office in the late 1970's.

First off, Sean Penn is such an amazing actor. He truly becomes the character and puts all emotion into what he does. In this particular movie, when his character cried, I cried. I wanted to hug him. Sean Penn picks such interesting people to portray, and does a stand up job every time.

Secondly, I wish topics like this movie were taught in schools. In my classes we briefly covered civil rights, but I'd never heard of Harvey Milk. I wish there was just a class on social movements from history. Rather than just a history class, I wish they got more specific in the teachings.

In watching this movie I was reminded of all that people have gone through to get where we are today. And even today the travels, the fights, the paths aren't done, aren't completed. Right now I am so thankful for anyone who has fought for what they believe in. I'm thankful for the differences that get us talking and the similarities that pull us closer. I am amazed at all we as a human race have gone through. But I am even more enthralled with what a community, any community be it a race, a sex, a group with an opinion, have gone through to get us here today. The perseverance that some people have stored within them, is a bright shining star in their fight.

Today after dinner there was a healthy heated discussion on many issues, but mostly on human stereotypes and the ability to judge others. I wouldn't say this was the best topic to discuss on a day where we give thanks, but it surly made me appreciate the human spirit. For someone to have so much passion for something, to take that desire as far as riots, marches, supreme court, or just discussions at the dinner table. It all makes my spine tingle in excitement for our differences and the ability to accept.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving eve

I just had a great night! My closest family friends who I should just call simply call my family had a birthday party for their daughter. I used to babysit her but now she is 22 and a dear dear friend of mine. Although we rarely see each other seeing as how she is in college in Washington, but when we do it's like we got together last week. They had invited other close family friends and grandparents and I just love being at their house. One, it's always full of delicious food and wine, two you guaranteed to have a good time, and three it's full of love and caring and genuine interest in others. I love it. I saw many people who have known me for over 20 years and hadn't seen me in at least a year. And we greeted each other with open arms and big smiles. I am going back there tomorrow for Thanksgiving and am truly looking forward to it. My mom will be coming after work, I'll be with people who are very close to my heart and I'll be eating lots and lots of yummy food. Could the day get any better?!

Happy Turkey day, a few hours early!

I'm thankful for so much. Stay tuned for specifics...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Happiness is...old friends and ice cream

So ay work about a week or so ago I was walking out of cafe and there was an old friend of mine from high school looking at magazines. We hadn't seen each other in over 10 years and decided we had to get together at some point and catch up. After one failed attempt, my fault, we were able to meet this afternoon for happy hour. His wide came along whom I'd never met. And my goodness, she is a doll! We got caught up and talked about our own lives. It was really great. Plus I had some Blue Moon and uber cheap yet just as uberly good gorgonzola cheese fries and I left half in the bag. Gotta love public transportation for getting me home! But mostly it was so good to see my friend and meet his wife. Some times I still feel lost and lonely, (don't fret, it's only sometimes. Doesn't everyone feel that from time to time?) so when moments like this afternoon happen, I revel in them.

When I got home I realized it was still early. Damn the sun setting at 4 in the afternoon! And not too much later I didn't feel like sitting at home, so I took myself out for ice cream. Right across the street from my apartment is a little local ice cream shop! How great is that?! And then I went next door to a shop that has everything you should never need but everything you could ever want when it comes to stuff and decor. It's insanely ridiculous how much stuff they have in there. It's great for gifts and a little pick me up for yourself. I bought some Christmas cards. That's right. I'm sending out holiday cards this year. I'm all grown up!

And now it's me and my candles and my music (right now Robert Plant and Alison Krauss are serenading me. Haven't heard the album? You should!) And it's Turkey day in two days! Yippee!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Oh what a beautiful morning

Oh what a beautiful day!
I woke up this morning and the sun was shinning, it was lovely. Then I go out to head to my yoga class, and there is a small dusting of snow on the ground, it sparkles just a bit in the morning sun, there is no wind so it's a crisp winter morning. It was perfect. I walked to yoga, had a good, quiet class. Then went to Target for some more apartment necessities.

I am going back to work at Illusion Theatre tonight. I have been with them off and on for 10 years. And I just found out that 2 of my co-workers at Barnes and Noble work at the box office. So that is where I'll be working. It's an extra little job with a company that is easy to work for if you don't get to deep in it. Maybe I could do some running crew stuff too. I'd love to get back into theatre, if I don't have to be one of the main designers/collaborators. It gets to stressful in that position and then I hate doing theatre.

Until this evening I may jsut sit and enjoy the daylight coming in my window....

Friday, November 21, 2008

A brief summary

Tomorrow it will be a week in my place. I've gotten used to it faster than I would have thought but I think that is also because for two nights this week I went to mom's for dinner and got home after 9 or 10 at night. Thanks for the grub, Mom! I just got internet hooked up! A-woo-hoo! Now I don't have to go down to Caribou and buy unneeded coffee to get online. Although I'm sure I still will every now and then. ;-)

I do have to take a moment here and mope... No one but my mom and my aunt (which I whole heartedly appreciate) have called to see how the new place is, or how I am. No one. It's a bit sad and lonely but I'm getting past it.

Moving on.

I'm really getting into the swing of things at work and it's actually fun now. I'm getting the hang of my ordering, my crew and I laugh a lot, and I was told that I'm a very nice and patient manager. Which is always nice to hear. We just have the Hollidazzle Parade coming up and I'm nervous for that. Everyone who has done that before says it's no big deal, so I'm trying to keep my cool.

I'm reading Christopher Rice's newest book right now. He's a decent suspense writer. I've read all of his books. They flow well, and I never really know where he is headed in the story.

I'm working on my 5th writing assignment and really feeling like I'm not making any progress. I just haven't been able to focus. It's due in a little over a week and I need to buckle down and do it. Maybe I should stop blogging here and work on it.


I'm off tomorrow and plan on having no plans. Sounds nice, huh?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

A blog or two in one entry

MY first full day in my apartment is coming to an end. I got everything into the place yesterday by noon, and was half way unpacked by the time I went to bed at 8:30. I know, it's early and it was a Saturday night, but I was tired. As I lay there in my bed looking at all my half unpacked boxes, and randomness about, I noticed I was in my own space. And my own space has never been so still. There was no TV, no pets, no breathing from another being, just me. It was very weird.

When my mom left at about 5:30 I sat down in my chair and almost started to cry. All by myself. But I quickly got my act together and opened a beer, lit a candle, put some Dave Matthews in my stereo and continued my way around my new place. When I went to bed, I slept through the night, which surprised me. I thought I'd toss and turn from being in unfamiliar surroundings but it was a peaceful sleep. I was oddly comforted by the sounds of the street, the buses, the people walking by, I even heard a neighbor start to sing opera. (Or at least that is what it sounded like through the walls. It was a pleasant sound.)

I woke before my alarm, and got up and had some cereal. Then I continued to work around my stuff. The piles getting smaller, the boxes getting emptied. I left mid-morning and walked down to get Caribou Coffee. Yum, my favorite. Mom came over and helped me hang my curtains. I had music on all day. And by now I think most everything is where it should be.

I just did some yoga with the Beatles playing in the background. It's 7pm, and I'm starting to feel like this is mine. It's a curious feeling when you live by your self for the first time. No one to talk to any time, no one to check in with, no one to ask if it's OK to do this or that, cooking for yourself, having control of the remote (even though I don't have cable yet, but that is beside the point).

I still have so many things to get that I didn't even realize I didn't have. A strainer, a coffee maker, a cutting board, a silverwear holder, a knife block, more cleaning supplies, an iron, ice cube trays. Ice cube trays and a spare roll of toiletpaper should be left in any home you are leaving. A nice surprise for the next person moving in plus it's good karma.

Now it is the end of day 2. I'm getting more and more used to my place. I got internet coming at the end of the week, (I am currently sitting in a coffee shop using their free interwebs), I got the electric in my name, I'm trying to get back into the swing of my writing. I haven't done too much since I moved. I just found it hard, with my mind running and my heart trying to catch up. It was like I was just hanging in the breeze at mom's house, waiting for my space. And now that it is here, I am starting to feel more settled. It's nice.

The bus ride is about 25 minutes shorter which means I get 25 more mintues of sleep. And who doesn't love that?! I've already met a few of my neighbors. One was a woman old enough to be my grandma named Bernice. I know that there is a woman who lives in my building who has lived there her whole life, her parents used to be the caretakers. I am wondering if Bernice is that woman. She was very sweet, walks with a walker, and told me that if she doesn't say my name when we meet again, no to be upset. Her eyesight is failing and she has trouble seeing faces. She was a sweetheart. There is a fella that I heard yesterday morning playing his guitar and singing. I was instantly intrigued because he was playing "All Along the Watchtower" by Bob Dylan, and then Jimi Hendrix and then Dave Matthews. I traveled down the hallway a bit to listen. He was pretty good.

I could keep rambling here, but I don't have much more to say. Or at least of any importance. I'm just getting used to, well... used to things.

Friday, November 14, 2008

My kind of good Friday

First off, I have to write about this woman on the bus this afternoon... my word she was a riot! I had run to the bus and my coffee was spilling. I get on and tell the driver "Oh jeez, I've got coffee spillage, I'm a mess." So as the bus starts to move, I pretty much fall into the first available seat from the forward motion of the ginormous vehicle. And this woman across from me says "I hate it when I spill my coffee. You know what the solution is? Drink it from a straw." I giggled. And then I laughed inside even more when I got a focus on her. She was old enough to be my grandma, had big glasses, Bloody Mary red lipstick on and it was bleeding into the lines around her mouth, she had an almost purple (it was that one shade between red and purple that is still OK for a hair color) wig on, and a big bag in her lap. She then continued to talk and talk and talk. She said "I drink my coffee from a straw that way I don't mess my lipstick." And then she said some snide remark about Sarah Palin and lipstick that was very funny and if I weren't in a public spot I would have started in on my rant on the stupidity of Palin. I choose to save that for another time. But this woman was priceless. I wound up sitting next to her when I gave up my seat for a dad and his daughter. But she told me to sit down next to her and I didn't want to be rude. She told me that she has 4 kids, 8 grandchildren, and 3 great grandchildren. She's 76 or 86 I can't remember which and her mother is in her 90's and still ticking. She's going back to school, she said, for Criminal Justice. Which I can't decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing. She remembers where she was when Kennedy was shot, a department store in a small town in Minnesota. She was shopping for Western boots, she said. She talked and I listened because I thought she was so ridiculously intriguing that I wanted to hear what she would say next. I did get off much earlier than my usual stop to run an errand, but had I met this woman at another time I would have liked to talk to her more. Think of all the stuff she has seen, been through, experienced. And the best part is she was willing to talk about it. To anyone apparently. She seemed a bit crazy, but that made her all that more wonderful.

Secondly, I got my ass handed to me at work today. And when I say handed I mean the rushes of Debbie Downer morning people who want their dumb small coffee came in droves and I just simply couldn't move fast enough. I have a new found respect for anyone working in the food industry (even though I've done it before) and a new found respect for my awesome co-workers. They do seem to do this so much smoother than I feel I ever could. But one of them reassured me that they all feel like they are running around like (and I'm going to use a very true cliche here) chickens with their heads cut off. I couldn't keep the coffee brewed, just when I ran out that was when I needed a new cup. I couldn't keep on top of the nasty breakfast sandwiches that were being ordered and needed to be grilled. And just when I felt I was caught up, we had no one in line. I guess maybe that means that I was keeping pace with the line. Who knows? I guess it take patience and time to get used to flow. But wow-sers, that was a lot of coffee and a lot of bagels this morning. Too much coffee, maybe...

And now the most exciting move!

I stopped in at my apartment today, just to see that my keys worked and that the phone at the front door was hooked up to my phone and to see my place. It looks fantastic! I've never moved into such a clean and well cared for apartment. It's usually one or the other, not both at the same time. It's freshly painted, except for the main room, that I'll do myself. Everything is clean, and I mean everything. The stove is spotless, the freezer is defrosted, the storm windows are in, the wood floor is nice and clean. And the building manager even went through the move-in inspection with me since we were both there. Plus when I got back to mom's house I was able to go to Target and get a fantastic rug and a rod to hang my curtains on! I'm set. Just those things that you don't realize you need until you are in the place and food is all I need.

Oh seriously, this move is the best thing! I know I've been saying this for about 2 weeks, but I am so so so stinking excited about my new place! I can barley contain myself. Tonight I've been packing up the remainder of my stuff, clothes and books that I've had out since I got back to MN. And dancing up a storm to Elvis, Dixie Chicks, James Hunter, all this music that makes me shake my booty, and drinking Premium. Wish you could be here to laugh at me, don't you? I'm a good time!

Wish me luck on the move!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Heres to history part 2

The front of the Star Tribune struck me silent for a few moments just now. It's a photo of Bush and Obama in the Oval Office. The caption says they were discussing the economy and security issues. The headline read "The Transfer of Power Begins." When a picture says a thousand words, this is a prime example.
The word striking comes to mind, along with historical.
Neat, and this is simply because the carpet in that room is immaculate. It looks like all the furnishings are fresh and new. Not several years old.
A bit dull, and this is also because it's all beige, with maybe a hint of blue.

I'm just struck by these two historical figures caught on film and appearing so laid back. They could be chatting about dinner plans, not the future of this country. And yet they also seem so unbelievably comfortable. Now granted I am no where near having the qualities to run for president let alone be elected but if it were me, I'd look a bit more nervous. This is probably listed in the long list as to why I will never run for public office. (Although if someone told me I could become royalty, I'd gladly wear a crown.)

This picture really is a transfer of power not just for the presidency but also for us as citizens. We are being given the option to have our future back, our choices be ours again, our hopes recognized and our fears settled. And because of this power transfer, both literally and figuratively, I have a huge optimistic bubble floating around me, rather than a weight on my shoulders.

Monday, November 10, 2008


I signed my lease today! Yea me! I am getting so insanely excited to move. The building manager is so nice and easy to talk to. We chatted for a bit today about family and living in the city and other things. She gave me a whole packet on the building and who to call when and I even got address labels! How great is that? I then went across the street to the pharmacy to get my info in their system and they were even nice to talk to. "Welcome to the neighborhood!" they said. "Thanks!" I replied with a big smile. I seriously can not wait for this weekend! I get to hang up pictures and my curtains that I bought almost a year ago. I get to pull out all my books that have been in storage for over a year and a half. I can just feel good things coming around the corner!

Work is getting better. I had my first day off in 9 days on Saturday and I did some errands and had lunch with my friend Kerstin from college. We hadn't seen each other in several years, so it was great to get caught up. We laughed a lot, in fact my cheeks hurt by the time we left. Then yesterday I did nothing but walk the dog. And I mean nothing. I said I was going to read and write this weekend, yep didn't happen. I watched bad TV on Sunday and debated about going to get chocolate for almost 2 hours. See? Lay-zy! It was nice.

Hope the week is as good to you all as it has been to me so far!

Friday, November 7, 2008

The eve of my weekend

My first day off in 9 days is tomorrow! And I'm stoked. I plan on running one errand, grabbing coffee on the way home and then sitting in my cozy bed and reading and writing all day. Jealous?

This week at work has been good. Like all first few days at a new job, it was rough and I felt lost. But the people working with me have been very helpful and willing. I am tired, some days I'm catching the bus at 5:15am! Geez that is early! You know it's too early to be at work when the coffee places aren't even open. Uff-da. But I've been doing well. The new job keeps me busy so I don't have time to realize I'm tired. There is a lot of reorganizing to do, busy work but very necessary.

I move in a week from tomorrow! Can't hardly wait!

I saw one of the sweetest things on the bus a few days ago. Two fellas get on the bus and I couldn't quite tell if they were special, or just socially awkward. One of them had a baseball cap with the Batman logo on it, big coke bottle glasses, and his face twitched as he rode chatting with his friend. His friend was a short round fella, with short blonde hair that was receding and a constant smile on his chubby face. But the best part about the second guy was that he had a lunch box. And not just a lunch box but a WWE lunch box with I bet, his favorite wrestler on it. He carried that piece of middle school memorabilia with pride and it warmed my heart. The two just sat across from each other and chatted. Two friends coming home from work, thick glasses and lunch boxes and all. Very sweet.

I finished reading another book by Jodi Picoult, Perfect Match, god I love her writing! She is so good, and raises such interesting questions in the most intricate scenarios. I wanted to pick up another one of her books right after, but that is just too much. She really makes me think and I have to let the story that i just finished sit within for a while. So I'm reading Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs. He's a fun read. He has lead sch an interesting life, being raised by his mom's shrink, having gone through AA, and just being an intriguing person. He writes about his life and some of what he describes you think "That is so outlandish, it couldn't have happened." But sure enough it happened to him. I love getting that insight to other peoples lives.

It was snowing here today. Winter is coming and it's kind of nice. Keep in mind this is coming from a girl who was away from a Minnesota winter for a year. We'll see if I change my tune come January.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Heres to history being made!

Yesterday at about 10pm central time I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Barack Obama is our president! I couldn't be more thrilled! I was nervous the whole night, I was twitchy and spent a good chunk of the evening avoiding the TV. Plus we had two TV's on and sometimes they weren't saying the same thing. It was frustrating. So I spent some time drinking wine, eating lots of yummy food and chitty chatting.

On the way home, (mom and I were at an election party) we heard McCain's concession speech. And I do have to say I thought it was very upstanding. He was gracious and eloquent. If he had talked like that for the last two months I might have thought a little different of him. I still would have voted for Obama, don't get me wrong! But I commend McCain for finally bowing out with dignity.

Then I heard Obama's acceptance speech. And oh my... it brought tears to my eyes, I felt full of hope and high spirits. He is so well spoken and really says things that allow American people to believe that the government is working for them. He makes me feel like I have a say, that good things are going to happen, that there is going to be movements toward benefiting the majority of the American people. I think his speech is going to go down in history with "I have a dream" and Kennedy's inaugural speech, and "One small step for man, one giant step for mankind." They are going to review his speech and this election in history classes.

His speech was moving, uplifting, believable, and all inclusive. I applaud you Mr. Obama, soon to be Mr. President, for a job well done and for the beginning of a bright and refreshing new chapter! Thank you!

Monday, November 3, 2008

T minus 24+ hours and counting

It's a little over 24 hours until we will either cry or cheer and then proceed to drink out of joy or sadness/anger.
I am hoping, praying, and crossing every finger I have in hopes that we win.
In case you haven't picked up on it, I'm for Obama!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Thoughts from moments passed

I've noticed a lot of stuff lately, have spent much time sitting, waiting, and riding public transportation. The bus gets a variety of people...

1. A mother way too young to have had the 2 kids she did, pregnant with a 3rd, and smoking. What would she have done had I ripped that cigarette out of her hand? Probably said "Girl, you gonna get beat." Just like she told her son a few minutes earlier. Nice.
2. Crocs are white people shoes. I'm not being racist here, but look around. Only white people put those ugly things on their feet. And I plead guilty to it too. Those shoes are ugly but freakishly comfortable.
3. People really still go to the Mall of America as tourists. I thought that place lost it's flare years ago.
4. I think there was a girl on the bus this morning who was doing the walk (ride) of shame. She was on my bus last night leaving the MOA, and here she was this morning on the bus going back that direction in the same clothes as the night before. Now I understand that there are many reasons she could be on the bus wearing the same outfit, but the ride of shame is the most humorous.
5. I'm one of the few people who use the time waiting/riding to read. Most everyone else just sits, many with their bad music blaring from their headphones. (YOU'RE GOING TO GO DEAF!) How boring! When you just sit and wait and ride there is nothing more to do but read. It's fantastic!

As for me... this transition has been hard. I'm back in Minneapolis which is great but sometimes I still feel very lost. If I stay busy I'm OK. But when I have not much to do, or plenty of time to just think, my head and heart get all confused. A few nights ago my emotions hit a wall and I wound up crying in a public bathroom for a few minutes. I pulled it together and had some Davanni's garlic cheese bread and a diet coke, and I was better. There are many times where all I do is think think think. And still don't seem to have many answers or resolutions or clarification. Maybe that is the way it's supposed to be. When one question/problem is solved, another comes and stands right in front of you.

I move into my apartment in 13 days! A-woo-hoo! I think I might paint a wall... a nice earthy, warm tone. And I need a rug. Something with a big print on it.

I start at my store tomorrow! I'm excited but nervous. I had everything memorized at the MOA, placement and where things were and such. And now I have to start over. The wonderful woman who was training me was a dear and said I'm set, I should be fine. Heres hoping!