Wednesday, February 23, 2011

What I'm Reading

Do you ever walk through a book store and every time you do there is a book that screams at you? "Read me! You're going to like me! Pick me up and read me!" I get that all the time, and imagine working in a book store, there are little voices everywhere.

(OK, that made me sound all Cybil-esque, which was not at all my intent.)

But I'm reading a book right now called Amaryllis in Blueberry by Christina Meldrum. First doesn't the cover just scream beauty? And yes, I totally judge a book by it's cover. And secondly I finally picked this up from our advanced reader shelf (when you work in a bookstore, you're given uncorrected proofs of books before they are published to read so that when they do come out, you can sell said book.) And i have been reading this book for about the last week, it's much more deeper than I thought. Big life-changing topics talked about so simply that you sorta have to go back and read it again, "Did that just happen?"

Here is an excerpt that I just fell in love with because it took something so common and universal and spun it on it's side.

"Love is not what I thought. Love is impatient. It's not always kind. It does envy, it does boast. At times it is proud and rude and self-seeking. And easily angered. It does, now and then, keep a record of wrongs. And it doesn't always avoid evil or rejoice in truth. It can't always protect. It doesn't always trust or persevere: sometimes love fails.
Until Africa, I'd believed love had one taste. The taste could be stronger or fainter, hotter or colder, but its essence remained the same. And while I knew hate and love sometimes mixed, that love could be peppered with hate yet still be love - I hadn't realized that hate is integral to love, that it's within the reach of love's expanse. I hadn't realized that what makes love Love is not its consistency, but its malleability, its magnanimity. Its abundance: love holds it all. Love is ugly and full of hate even as it's tender and kind. There's nothing pure about love. It's the impurity that is love. I know that now.
Love can hope to be patient. It can hope to be kind. It can hope to not envy or boast or be proud. It can hope to persevere. But love is not perfect. I tell myself this now. Every day."

Did that make you want to read the book? It comes out next month if you do.

This is my morning, coffee in my Matt's Bar mug and a good read.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

An epiphany

I love it when something hits me like a ton of bricks. Last night I was a bit lost and then this morning I totally get it.

I was told second hand that Chuck's oldest, K, doesn't like me. But this only comes out when he's telling her to do something and she doesn't want to listen. "You never told me to brush my teeth till Sarah came!" she whines. And with a that's-ridiculous guffaw Chuck responds "That is not true and you know it." I was really bothered by the fact that she said she doesn't like me. Oddly, it hurt my feelings.

But then this morning I realized that I have been anointed into parenthood. If they say they don't like you, you must be doing something right!

I shamefully remember saying something similar to my mother several times throughout my childhood. And K has said it to Chuck. But I'm not a parent, I shouldn't get those words. Then again, I am an adult whom she has to listen to and as a kid having another grown-up telling you what to do is the last thing you want.

But tonight I stand proud, as a non-parent parent, and say I'm succeeding at this job! They don't have to like me right now, because I will always love them, but they do have to do what I say.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Happy Belated Heart Day

I think Valentine's day is dumb, but on the flip side, I think love is fabulous!

I've never liked Valentine's day, single or not. I think it's a Hallmark Holiday, created mostly to make money. And I also think it's ridiculous to have a day to tell someone you love them. Shouldn't you do that every day, when the moment moves you, just because? I think so.

Chuck and I agreed no gifts, no big deal. In fact he was stoked when he found out that I didn't like the holiday, takes off the pressure I guess. But we did exchange small cards. Cute, funny messages with something heartfelt and hand written on the inside. And then we went to the bar where we met for a couple of beers and a few games of darts. We basically did what we do and celebrated us in a way that we both enjoy. Easy going and laid back with continuous laughter and beer.

(He did take me out for sushi on Friday night. That was really fun! I can't eat with chopsticks, like my tongue comes out because I'm trying so hard, the sushi was DE-lish!, we talked and laughed, and it was nice to have a date. We go out all the time, but this was a date for us.)

But in the spirit of the day and the spirit of love, here is what I'm loving at the moment.
1. Yoga. It really does strengthen me and makes me feel good inside and out.
2. Veggies. I've always been a fan of salty crunchy foods and find myself craving them in fact, but the veggies have taken over my cravings. And I love it!
3. Tax returns! I mean, who doesn't love extra money?!
4. The smell of clean laundry. Mmmmmm. Clean, fresh, warm.
5. My mom. And her new phone. She's like a kid who was just let into the secret club house and discovered that all the cool kids are here and it really is fun to be a part of it! And she's texting me. Even when she meant to text my aunt. Cute.
6. My wonderful boyfriend. And how kind and caring he is to me.
7. Water. Cold and always available. And filling.

This is from Christmas, but ain't we cute?

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Calling the Dr. of the House

I'm sick. Or at least on the brink of an icky cold. It is my weekend off and I'm bummed that I'm sick on my weekend off, but it gives me time to rest and get better.

The cherry on this situation? My boyfriend is making me chicken soup. Not just chicken soup, homemade chicken soup. Bought the chicken, boiled it, added fresh veggies and some other goodness and Viola! We're going to kick this cold to the curb!

Yeah, I'm a lucky girl. And yeah, he rocks.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Brrrr and a bummer

So on one of the coldest days of the year I have discovered a few things.
1. No job interview is worth a frozen lower half. No matter the layers, my legs, feet and toes were so cold it hurt.
2. The day before an interview, call to make sure you both are still game. Especially if the interviewer takes a week to call you back in the first place.
3. A beer in the middle of a day, after being outside in -19 windchill for an hour walking the streets of downtown looking for said interview place and then looking for a bar to have said beer in, is more delicious than one could ever imagine.
4. Having a boyfriend who will leave work for his lunch hour and come rescue you from the cold and enjoy the beer with you is a rare and wonderful thing.
5. Napping, no matter how long the nap lasts, is good.
6. A little Michael Jackson's "Thriller" makes waiting at the cold bus stop a wee bit more bearable.
7. Coming home, taking off your cold clothes and wrapping yourself in a blanket is cozy perfection.

Needless to say, I didn't get the job I had an interview for today. I didn't even get the interview. There are a lot of flakey things about the whole situation and I'm still quite irritated that I don't want to vent about it now and make it worse than it is. I'm giving a courtesy call tomorrow and going to be PC and polite. I just needed to calm my mind enough about it all so I sound diplomatic on the phone.

And yesterday I wrote a post about the winter and cold. And today I've decided that Mother Nature is a cruel, cold-hearted (literally) bitch. What I said in the last post about being ready for it to be not so cold any more has increased 10 fold after today. I was chilled through my bones today and it took me a few hours to fully warm up again. 'Twas a rough day to be a busrider. Good thing I spent so much time outside today. Uff-da.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


I like Winter. I like the thought of everything going into hibernation for a while to rebirth with fresh colors and zest in the spring. I like waking to a blanket of untouched, fluffy white snow. I like having another reason to stay in, cuddle and watch movies. I like the sun shinning on those really cold days. I like taking long, hot bubble baths. I had no problem with all that snow for a few reasons but mostly because when it snows it's not as cold as it has been lately.

But right now I am ITCHING for Spring. I'm tired of the cold and worse than that I'm tired of the day where it's almost near 30 and then 2 days later it's back down to -2. It's Mother Nature being the ultimate tease and I am not a fan.

I took this photo last Spring (and actually may have already posted it on here, can't remember.) But this is my small plea to have the chill be taken out of the air. To be able to not wear a second layer under my coat because I need to be warm but only because it's part of my outfit. To not have to hold my scarf tight to my face because it being wrapped twice around is not enough. To not have to keep my legwarmers on at home because I still feel chilled in my bones.

I'm not ready for summer, in fact I don't want the snow to melt yet. But I am ready for it to be a normal winter. I'm done with this frigid-freeze-your-boogers-make-you-tremble-can-not-wear-enough-clothes cold. You can tell I'm a Minnesotan when all I'm asking for is for it to be 20 degrees warmer.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

A Collection of Thoughts

What I know today...
1. I am so in love.
2. Being a kinda sorta parent is the best lesson in patience I think I may ever have.
3. I'm rocking at my job yet don't find it challenging at all.
4. I'm still sending out resumes and letters to any place that I think will give me a once-over and seeing what I'll get.
5. I'm excited for my interview on Wednesday simply for the experience and to get my name out there.
6. I'm usually a fan of winter but right now I want summer like I want a cup of coffee after not enough sleep.
7. My girlfriends from work are some of the best girlfriends I've had in my life.
8. My mom came over on Friday for her birthday dinner and we played Twister. That was more fun as a grownup than it ever was as a tween at a sleepover!
9. I'm needing a creative outlet. A big one.
10. I really want to finish the last 75 or so pages I have of this book so I can start the next one. It's cover is really pretty and yes, I totally judge a book by it's cover.