Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Bar argument got me thinking

I went out with some girlfriends this past Saturday and my friend Kerstin and I would up at our new favorite people watching bar, Cowboy Slims. This is the bar that I fell in, mentioned in a post not too long ago. Not many people we know think highly of this bar, but we think it's a riot. We always have fun and seem to get some free drinks every time we go.

This last time I got into a heated argument with a boy named Tim. He said that money buys happiness and I disagree. His point was that if someone gave me 1 million dollars right now, that wouldn't make me happy? Well sure it would. But that is then implying that I am unhappy without that money. This guy is working as a mechanical engineer (it "pays the bills" he said) owns 2 properties in Duluth, and is looking to buy another here in some suburb. I told him I can't understand why someone would want to own a house in the burbs. (I love it in the city and no one can give me a reason that satisfies me enough to convince me to move.) And he said that he buys them for the resale value. Well whenever I buy a house, it's not to sell it again. It is to make it my home for as long as I can.

This guy got me so riled up that I was shocked when he said he wanted to see me again. I think our first date would be nothing but us arguing. He even told me to settle. Note to people just meeting me, never tell me to settle, or shush me for that matter. Just makes me that much louder.

But he did get me thinking. Since Saturday I have been thinking of the phrase "money buys happiness." True? False? Somewhere in between? Money buys us items that gives us moments of bliss, but other than that I don't think so. Money can not buy you that feeling and raw emotion from the inside.

I even told him "I work retail and live almost paycheck to paycheck and I am the happiest I have ever been." And that sure isn't because I won the lottery.

Would I be happy if someone gave me millions of dollars? Sure. But show me someone who would deny that money. Everyone would be more content with enough money so they could do anything they choose and wouldn't have to worry. But that isn't how life works. If it takes money for you to be happy, you're going to have a long, irritating and stressful life.

I knew someone who was always focused on not having enough money and it made for some not fun times. Money doesn't make me happy, I make me happy. And the people I love make me happy. Money is a necessity of life but it doesn't have to control it.

Sorry Tim, but you are way wrong.


  1. I'm not going to say much about the money and happiness things - because I agree that the answer is pretty obvious, but some people have to learn the long way.

    What I do want to comment on is the arguing-date-thing, and to say - don't write him off too soon. I'd say if you're comfortable enough to really argue with each other that's pretty awesome. All of my very best friends (and things, in fact) in my life came from resistance on my part, so now I find that if I resist it may be a grand thing I'll never know about because I made silly assumptions.

  2. I agree with the last comment. Having different points of view can be stimulating if care is taken to be respectful and listen to each other's point, not just make your own. If two people agreed on everything, how boring would that be? some of the best relationships I know are people who really are opposites-but they love each other despite and because of their differences.