It's Sunday morning and it's the day of rest, or so they say. I love Sundays, I almost always have the day off and I truly enjoy it. It's my day. I do what I want on Sundays.
Today I woke up and went for a walk around my neighborhood. It's gotten warm here, down right balmy. It's above freezing and the sun is shinning, so today I dressed in layers but no coat, just my down vest. A hat, and some mittens.
My neighborhood is full of big, beautiful, Victorian style houses. I love walking and looking at the houses and imagining the lay out inside. I could never afford a house that big, plus I don't think I'd want to. Think of all the cleaning I'd have to do. But then again, if one can afford a house that big, one can probably afford to have someone come clean it. But I like to think of myself as self-sufficient and I don't think I'd like to have a cleaning service.
Anyway, so I walked and wandered. No specific destination in mind, no time frame in mind either. Walking is a great place to think. It's just me and my surroundings and my thoughts. And the ice. I love it when things start to melt and then freeze again and all the ice on the edge of things is white and crunchy. I love to crunch the ice as I walk, the quick break, the crisp sound. I will dawdle along crunching all the ice on the edge of the sidewalk, a smile on my face as the fragile ice gives way to my foot.
When I started to not be able to feel my cheeks, I headed for home. The sun still rising and not a cloud to be seen. This is why I love Sundays. I don't go to church, but that walk was one of the most peaceful things I could do for myself. Where else can you feel close with a higher power, then out in the world you hope It created? It's stunningly beautiful.
I am now making cookies. I make some of the best chocolate chip cookies ever. Ask anyone whos had them. I don't toot my horn about much, but my cookies are YUMMMY! And I'm listening to music. An amazing woman who is a local artist here, Erin Schwab, performs around town and she made one of her performances into a CD. She does musicals, Janis Joplin, Dolly Parton, and other fabulous songs. There is one that makes me cry every time. The chorus is "There is a fine fine line between love and a waste of time." I even had a few tears fall at the bar the last time I saw her perform and she did that song.
"Theres a fine fine line between a lover and a friend, between reality and pretend. You'll never know till you reach the top if it was worth the extra climb. Theres a fine fine line between you're wonderful and goodbye. If someone doesn't love you back, it isn't such a crime. Because there is a fine fine line between love and a waste of time. I don't have the time to waste on you anymore. I don't even think you know what you're looking for. For my own sanity I need to close the door and walk away. Theres a fine fine line between what you wanted and what you got. You've got to go after the things you want while you're still in your prime. Because theres a fine fine line between love and a waste of time."
I need to clarify here that I don't think any love I've ever had was a waste. I don't regret anything I've done. But I wish I could have accepted that moment when it's just not right anymore quicker than I did. That song is just so simply put, it either is or it isn't. Why is it when words are put to music it effects you more? The moment you are trying to understand becomes crystal clear, and you see things from then on in a whole new light. Or at least I do.
My cookies are almost done. And I have lunch plans with a friend. And the rest of my day is open for me. And it's not even noon yet! Love that! I have the whole day ahead of me. If I had all the money you could imagine, I might take my private jet to Italy. But instead I'll take my own feet that are free and go to a used book store. Or sit at my hand-made desk, look out my window and dream. Or get lost in a book. Or watch Friends. Cause I don't do that too often. HA! Or write, I've got a good idea for my next assignment. Or watch the movie Savages, I've had that from Netflix since before Christmas and have yet to watch it. Or go for another walk, it's just so darn lovely out!
Heres hoping your day delivers exactly what you want, so far mine has.