Monday, December 21, 2009

Thank you Lady, for THAT.

So I took my mother into the hospital today for a partial knee replacement. All is well. Everything went according to plan and she is resting at the hospital tonight. I have been up since 5, I closed my store, it's after 11pm, I'm tired and I'm still up. If tomorrow sucks I have only myself to blame. And for not doing much until 3 today, I'm exhausted. It amazes me how tired one gets when you do nothing.

In the case of loved ones being in a hospital, no news is good news. So this post is not about my mother's stay. She is hunky-dory. (What exactly does that phrase mean, anyway? Well, I googled it.)

This post is about an encounter I had with a woman in the waiting area. It was after 9, I had gone to McDonald's for some greasy breakfast after mom had gone into the OR. And I was back in the family waiting room. The woman across from me was on her phone. And not just one her phone, ON HER PHONE! And she was COMPLAINING ABOUT EVERYTHING WHILE ON HER PHONE! Sheesh, Lady, you're at a 12. Can you keep your negativity at a 2? Thanks.

So I moved. And happened to sit in the same cluster of chairs as two older women. From listening to their chatter, they were both old enough to be my mother, had kids and grandkids, but I never caught who they were in there waiting for.

I didn't say much. I just wanted to read my book. Like really wanted to read it. Really really. But I did have two mini conversations with the older of the two women. This is what was said.

Her: Are you here waiting for your husband?
Me: No, no husband. I'm waiting for my mother.

And after her and the the other woman were discussing their children and grandchildren I was asked this gem...

Her: Do you have children?
Me: No, no children.
Her: Oh. Are you waiting then?
Me: No, not waiting.
Her: Well then (and some sputtering as to how to phrase the question "why am I not a mother?")
Me: Well you need a man to have children and that I don't have.

And she proceeded to get awkward and uncomfortable and turn her back to me. Literally turned her back. Well at least then I could read my book.

I was there for about 4 more hours, and that woman never looked in my direction again. I did get up and move seats for the 3rd time that day and even asked the man I sat down next to "Are you going to make small talk with me? Because I just want to read my book." He replied, "No. No, I'll just read as well." Good. He was my perfect waiting room partner.

What just got my goat was this woman assuming I was married and then wondering why I had no children. I'm sure she didn't mean to be offensive and I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable. But COME ON! So many people just don't get married, have kids, and settle down right away these days. I almost wanted to tell her that I had that married/child dream and someone broke it a while back. So forgive me for being a little sensitive to the topic.

I am so much more than who I am dating or not dating and why I do or don't have kids. And it's so damn irritating when those are the first questions some one asks you. Even family members you don't see often. "So, are you seeing anyone?" Same answer as last time, "No. Going on dates but nothing is sticking." Ask me about my interests, my job, the book I'm reading, where I got my shoes, what I thought about the dumb Vikings game last night. Anything other than why I am not with husband/child.

It irked me all day. And I'm hoping this post will have gotten that irk out of my system.

I pick up my mom tomorrow. She and I will spend the evening in front of the TV. Which sounds wonderful.


  1. Hi Sarah, you have a pretty good blog going here. It's honest, revealing and entertaining but avoids the pitfall of becoming self absorbed. You are a good writer. Whether you'll make money writing, I don't know and maybe it doesn't matter. Then again, maybe it does to you. (I especially liked a previous one about a co-worker of both of us. It was very touching. But don't worry, I told no one.) In regards to this one, first and foremost, you need to congratulate yourself for not telling these old bags to "f*ck off". But I understand how irksome it must have been. I think the reason is that on a deeper level you do realize how absolutely wrong they are. Not to get too mystical on you, but you do know that all you really need or want is within you. And on yet another level, and not to intentionally embarrass you, you are just fine: Good looking, smart AND funny! So it's all going to work out just fine.

    By the way, Soon I'll be taking over your old receiving job. Wish me luck! I think the new schedule will cut into my facebook time. Have a great 2010.

  2. Thanks Joe!! That was very sweet of you. (And by the way, I don't remember a post about a co-worker. Which post are you referring to?)

    Thanks for the kind words. I whole-heartedly appreciate them.

    Good luck in receiving! Once you get the hang of it, it's very routine and wearing jeans is awesome! And no more weekends for you! A-woo-hoo!

    Keep in touch!

  3. I have the perfect response "No ...Im sorry ..its not 1954. Apparently a womans worth used to be tied to her role as a mother. Boy Im glad those days are over.How old did you say you were?" hows that for a response?