Thursday, January 14, 2010

Caution: I'm mad and men suck

The Bitter Bus tends to follow me everywhere I go. But it only honks it's horn and flashes it's brights when it comes to men. Or I should say boys, because the males that I tend to go out with or have an interest in sooner rather than later will revert back to junior high levels of interaction. They don't call when they say they will, they tell you nice things and then they're actions don't go along with the words. Or you call, text, email, whatever, and nothing.

Seriously, the other half of our species... well I can't really put into words how irritating I think they are.

I dated one guy last year for 3 weeks, and for 2 of those weeks he was seeing someone else. I had 4 dates in one week with another guy last spring and we were like peanut butter and jelly. We just fit. And then nothing. He stopped calling, would return my calls, just fell off the face of the planet. I went on one date this fall with what appeared to be a great guy, we hit it off. And a few days later we're on the phone, he's saying things like "Lets try this dating thing. You call me, I'll call you, lets see where this can go." And I haven't heard from him since.

And I'm not even going to bring up the reason I moved to NM and the reason I moved back home.

And you know whats worse than all of this?! I am still attracted to them! And that bugs me even more!

I met a boy last week at a bar, he drove me home and was a gentleman and dropped me at my door. Saying that he'd like to see me again. Last Friday I get a text (and don't get me started on the texting. Be a man and pick up the phone!) saying this weekend he'd like us to get together. And nothing. It's been 6 days, I've lost hope that he'll call. I'd call him but everyone I talk too, everything I read says that if the boy wants to see you again, he'll find a way to do so. Not that I should sit on my ass and wait like a lame-o. But from my past experiences, when I call and they don't return it, they are not interested.

Why do they say the things they do and act all sweet and interested just to lift us up and watch us come crashing back down? I don't get it. When I'm not interested, I say so. One because it's the right thing to do, and two because when it's not said to me I'm left with all these questions and anger.

I'm nearly convinced that all the good ones are gay, taken, or boring.


  1. I have no idea why i started laughing while reading your post...sadistic streak?..hope not.
    Seriously though it sounds like you are maybe trying too hard.

  2. TRYING TOO HARD!??? Look Mr WokeUp40 you have no idea what I've been through and I in turn have no idea what you've been through. And if I re-read this post there is very little in there about what I do or don't do that should lead to you saying I'm trying to hard. And that is also not the issue.

    The issue is that I get very annoyed and angry when a guy says "I'll call you" or "When can I see you again?" or "What are you doing this weekend, can we do something?" And then I never hear anything. Why do you say it if you don't mean it? Why can't you end the evening with a "Thanks. This was nice."??? There is nothing in that statement that says we are doing something in the future.

    I don't like playing games. If I like a guy, I'll tell him. And if I'm not interested, I'll say so. Why can't men do the same thing? It really isn't that hard. Quit be such a damn pansy, and be a man and follow through on what you said.

    Thank you for you unsolicited words and your rude opinion. Have a nice night.

  3. You are absolutely right i dont know what you have been through. I think i may have mistakenly assumed that some of what what you wrote was irony.
    I'm not a rude person in "real life" and dont intend to be one online either, i therfore apologise for any negative affect my comment had on you.
    I have realised that this blogging world is not really for me and will be deleting my blog immediately.
    I hope everthing works out for you.
    Take care.

  4. Sarah, I love you. I'm sure there's nothing I can say other than - I HEAR YOU. I UNDERSTAND. And I appreciated hearing your story.
    Words of comfort like "It'll happen when it's supposed to" would probably just make you feel more irritated I'm sure, b/c it would me. My initial reaction, in all honesty, was - don't take any boy you meet at a bar seriously. If they're our age and still going out drinking and looking for chicks, then they're boys. But I know you've looked elsewhere, too. I always thought Minneapolis had no straight men when I lived there.
    I don't know, it happened for me, again of little comfort, when I started being okay with not having a man - like as soon as I didn't want one, the perfect one fell in my lap. I HATE that most of life seems to work that way, but what do you do?
    Especially when most men ARE assholes. But there's something wonderful, I've discovered, about those natural male traits and female traits. Men laugh that we're too emotional, we get mad at them for not being so - but it's that balance that both sexes could benefit from being grateful for.
    Set your sights on a man who appreciates what makes you a female, and think about what about maleness you appreciate. We all suck in as many ways as we are beautiful.
    Love you greatly, Pretty.

  5. i like that you are assertive. why these guys can't do this in return? i have no idea. perhaps they just don't know how to act/are incapable of growing up and it is just easier to do nothing instead of telling you they don't want to go out anymore. clearly it's not easy to tell someone that they aren't interested, but seems to me it is common courtesy. perhaps too it is bit of the minnesota way of being-- not to ruffle any feathers. or have any confrontation. hard to know. bottom line: no fun, but i am not convinced that there are no other options for you.

  6. hahah you're telling me! Read my blog, i got you beat ;) xoxo