"Really, Dude?! You had the balls to do that?!" And then a good quick punch.
That is what I wanted to say and do to the asshat that attempted to steal from me today.
I saw him coming across the street in the cold cold morning in nothing but a t-shirt and a winter hat and I thought to myself "That guys is an idiot. It's cold out." Well I wasn't too far off on the idiot part. He came in and stood and stared at my bake case and the beverage cooler. A few minutes later he opened the bev cooler, took out a soda, looked at us and said "I'm taking this." And then he turned and walked out the door. As he did so I hollered "No you're not!" And then took off running after him. He didn't get very far. When I caught up to him and he turned around, I walked right up to him, ripped the drink out of his hand and said "You can't take things unless you pay for them!" Then I turned around and went back to work.
When I came back my heart was racing and I was shaking. I wanted to shake him and scream, "You punk! Who is your mother and what would she say about what you just did?!" Instead I just took back my product and went back to the daily grind.
I did however, have to regal my awesomeness to some of my regulars. I felt very hero-esque. I didn't have time to think but my first instinct was not to let that jerk take off with my product and get away with it. Apparently we aren't supposed to run after someone (which makes sense, people do carry guns and stuff) but that wasn't what went through my mind.
I caught someone else stealing from me at my store in NM and I did the same thing. What makes them think that they have the right to take what isn't theirs I'll never know. But not while I'm in charge, damnit!
May that social moron never come back, be thirsty from not drinking his stolen beverage, and cold from being dumb and not wearing a coat when it's 1 degree out! All of the other good people that came in today though can stay warm and cozy tonight!