I found this searching craig's list. There is nothing OK about it, I'm hoping it's a fake, but at the same time I got a late night chuckle out of it. Enjoy.
One bedroom apartment in the heart of uptown. Great location, not that great of an apartment. Although, one man's junk is another persons treasure, keep an open mind.
Approximately 375-400 square feet, including the couple holes in the floor. Don't worry, they aren't major, yet.
Bedroom is normal size, 10x9, I believe. Has cable hook up, but it will need to be re-wired. Either mice or squirrels at some point decided they were hungry and chewed through some of the coax cable.
Bedroom has a spacious closet, make sure you put plastic by the ceiling, there is a small water leak and your clothes will get wet and musty. You can use staples or nails, just don't make any permanent markings.
Features a full bathroom, water in the bath and shower comes out rusty for about 4-5 minutes. No worries, the rust color goes away, but if you want warm water, you will need to run it for 9-10 minutes. However, the sink has very little rust and warm water kicks in right away. The toilet often gets clogged up, I will provide a plunger at no cost.
Full eat-in kitchen. Offers a lot of cabinets and counter space. There is was a small fire where a past tenant left the stove burner on while cooking ramen, the wall next to the burner is a bit black and charcoaled, but can be easily covered with a piece of art or calendar. The refrigerator works well, it will keep your food cold, but the freezer will need to be defrosted every so often.
Large living room, as mentioned above, there are a couple of holes in the floor but can be hidden easily with a rug. Plus the your future neighbor down stairs is a pretty cool guy. Has quite a few windows in the living room, although a couple of them are boarded up. I am looking into replacing the glass that is missing, probably before winter.
Apartment has original hardwood through out. You will notice peoples names carved into the wood where the living room meets the kitchen, I see it as art. The building was once a crackhouse a few years ago but now cleaned up to some peoples standards. If you find any contra band stashed anywhere, please contact the police. I will not be held responsible.
Roach problem has been taken care of, if you see any, please call me. Hornets nest in the main entrance of the building should be taken care of this week or next. (Just an FYI if you tour the unit)
Cats and Dogs are OK, just please keep them away from the holes in the floor. Wally, the downstairs neighbor doesn't want any unexpected visitors.
Rent is $450.00 a month, I pay all utilities besides electricity. $250.00 deposit along with first month rent will be required at signing. This is a 6 month lease, available July 1st.
Email to setup showings. Thanks for looking!